Hand to Hold (Phantom of the Opera FanFic)
by chrisstkiki
Summary: Christine D'arcy can't wait to begin her first year at Harough University. Following her father into Vocal Performance has always been a dream of hers, but left reeling since his death and the complete disregard of her mother since, she is ready to hold on to any shred of hope that she is worth anything. She is ready to hold onto anyone. Is his the hand she should be holding?
1. Chapter 1

Musicals rang out in my ears while I laid back on my bed, legs hanging over the edge, enjoying the wind from the over-hanging fan. I was in my happy place, completely at ease. Until I felt a hand grab at me.

I shot up, sitting straight on my bed to see my mother standing in front of me. She had apparently knocked multiple times, but I hadn't heard. I fling my earphones on to my bed.

"I'm sorry I scared you." She said in her typically quiet voice. Looking at her I could see that she had that glazed look in her eye. She was drunk again.

"You didn't," I try smiling up at her "Just surprised me."

"I was just making sure you were packing for school. You only have 3 more days." She started her way to the door, stumbling a bit. "You never do what you're supposed to do."

"Yes mom, I know." I glance at the clock, it was 8:17 at night. I called after her "Hey, it's getting a bit late. You heading to bed soon?"

"I am the mother. I tell you when to go to bed!" she called back from the hall.

Sigh. "Yes mother."

And so started her rant. It slowly got drowned out by the distance of her room to mine. I got up and closed the door more, locking the door for safety measures.

Summer was too long. Don't get me wrong, I love summer. Just not this one.

My father died the month before my senior year ended. It was a bad end to a bad high school career. Everywhere I went there was some one giving me that look. You know, the one where they are basically saying "How are you doing? Do you need anything? Like a casserole?"

We got at least 8 casseroles.

He was a known figure in the town, especially in the theater community. He had gone to a university for vocal performance, but came back to his hometown with my mom, and had me.

Then the cancer hit. It's not like it happened all of a sudden, it lasted a good 3 months, they didn't catch it in time, I guess there was nothing much they could do for him.

I got accepted into the same school he went to, NYU. The same day he went to the hospital. One of mom's favorite sayings in those situations is "One of Gods many unfunny jokes".

I shoved my buds backinto my ears and turned the volume up full blast, hearing Kristen Chenoweth singing a perfect rendition of "Glitter and Be Gay". Tying my blond poof hair back into a bun, I start on the remaining clothing that is supposed to fit into my suitcase.

I kneel beside my suitcase to try to skillfully fit the rest of my clothing into it, and start to fiddle with my name tag on the handle,the words "Christine d'Arcy" shining back at me, along with a number and my address.

I sigh and begin shoving.


	2. Chapter 2

"So, where you from?" The cabbie in the front asked me.

"A small town in Canada, you probably wouldn't know it." I reply, clutching my carry on bag close to my heart. This sent him on a small tirade about that one time he travelled to Canada. Or was it Niagara Falls. I was fine with this, it allowed me to just pay attention to the sights of New York and my music.

The last three days at home were mostly full of music, staying up in my room, or taking walks to the library. I didn't have many friends back home, so I didn't have many goodbyes to say, just the few I said at graduation. By the time this morning came, I was ready to throw everything in the taxi and run for the hills. I said a quick goodbye to my mom early this morning, who was asleep with her normal companion on the couch and off I went.

The plane ride was, once again, filled with my music and looking through my binder of selections of what I would sing in my first day of classes. I wasn't sure if I would need one but I was excitingly thinking of the options should he ask me to sing anything.

"Hey kid!" the cab driver called back, and I was bolted from my thoughts to the now. He gave me a little wave to the outside and added "We're here."

I took a quick glimpse of her new home before quickly giving the man the correct amount of money for the trip. She climbed out of the back and was meet by a rather tall boy with bright brown eyes at the back of the cab.

"Hey there!" he exclaimed as he shoved his hand toward me. I gave it a questioning look before he gave a light chuckle and continued. "I'm not a crazy new Yorker I promise you. I'm Dillon, I'm your RA." I reluctantly put my hand in his and shake, more lackluster than him. "You just got here so early, I figured I would meet you and help you with your bags."

Looking at him now I was surprised I didn't notice before that he was wearing a bright green shirt with the school logo of the school roaring Leopard and the quote "Move in the Herd" in a circle around it. He had dark brown curly hair and an "everyone is my friend" air about him.

"Um, hi." I respond, still clutching my carry on bag to my chest, pushing down the little smile that started pulling at the corners of my mouth. I didn't have to let him know that he was as charming as he thought he was. "I'm – "

"Christine!" He announced, starting to open the back of the cab and take out some of my heavier bags, "From Port Hope, Ontario, Canada! Here for . . ."

"Vocal Performance, yeah. Listen!" I exclaim starting to try to take my big suitcase from under his arm, "You don't have to help, I can get them my self."

He simply tugged it out of my grasp and laughed "Please you're on the 15th floor and have more than 5 bags! I'll just grab the heaviest ones." And with that he gave me a little wink and headed in the building with my bags in tow, leaving only two small bags for me to carry.


	3. Chapter 3

******Hey! Realized I never put one of these up! So, Thanks for Reading and PLEASE REVIEW!******

My room was all white.

White brick walls, white tile flooring, white light overhead. The only thing devoid of white was the dark blue mattress' laying on the two twin beds adjacent from each other. My roommate was going to arrive any time, it was going on 9 am and since I got there I'd been putting my clothing in my drawers, setting up my desk and putting my sheets on my bed. Slowly the white was being accented by my favourite color, Emerald. Accented by gold, but those would have to come later when I had a way to get to a target.

I was just finishing putting the comforter on my bed when I heard a flourish of noise and laughter enter the room. I spin around just as a girl about my age with bright red hair came into the room, preceded by a rather large man with a noticeable bald spot and followed by a woman who looked very much lie her but with more of a curl to her flaming red hair.

Laughing with her mom, once she saw me her (already giant) eyes nearly popped out of her head and she dropped whatever bags she carried galloped over them, nearly pushing the man over to make her way over to me. She linked her arms around my neck, and with such force that I struggled to keep my balance against the edge of my bed.

"Oh my God!" the girl squealed into my hair, still clinging onto me. I assumed she wouldn't let go until I showed some recognition, so I brought my arms up and wrapped them lightly around her and gave a few friendly pats before she decided to pull away.

"You must be Christine!" she beamed as she turned away and started to help her mom put some of her bags on and around her side of the room. "I couldn't wait to meet you! I was thinking all the way over here how we were going to decorate the room and everything, wasn't I mom?"

"She definitely was." The lovely woman laughed as she set the last few bags on the bed and turned to me with her hand extended. "Hi, Christine! I'm Lily's mom, Ray, its very nice to meet you!" I let her take my hand, the light contact almost a complete turn-around from Lily's abundance of energy.

"Hi, it's nice to meet you to." I answered, trying not to be as awkward as I always was in these "meeting-people" situations.

"Oh jeez I can't wait to start getting to know you! I just know were going to be the best of friends!" Lily called back as she started dumping her clothing into her drawers. Ray tried to go over and fold a couple of clothes but to no avail. It was clear who was Type A and Type B as Ray just acquiesced and allowed Lily to organize her clothing how she wanted while she got to work on the bed.

"Oscar," Ray hollered to the man by the door who had dropped the bags near the washroom. "Would you go down and get Lil's bathroom bags? OH!" She glanced back up at me, "This is Oscar, Lily's dad." He gave a little wave and a big smile before started on his way out of the room and the others started at their own business.

"You must have gotten here pretty early! You parent's already headed out by the looks of it!" Ray called from under the heavy mattress and mattress pad.

"Oh," I hesitated, wondering how to explain this. "Well, they didn't really come with me today . . ." There was no reason to give the morose details right now. "They both just had work and stuff to take care of so I flew down myself."

"Really!" Ray exclaimed letting the mattress flop off her shoulders and back onto the bed frame. "You flew down though? From where, if you don't mind my asking."

"Oh of course not!" I crawl back and sit down on the edge of my bed and start fiddling with my blankets, "I'm from Canada."

"Wow!" Lily's head flipped around with a few shirts clumped up in her hands. "We visit up there for summers sometimes! Where in Canada?"

"It's just a little town called Port Hope. It's about an hour east of Toronto." I try to explain in the best way I know how.

"Okay!" Ray nods like she understands but I could tell it was the polite nod of an American who doesn't understand the Canadian terms.

"So, is this all that you brought with you?" Ray stood looking at my bare walls and back at me.

"Well," I could feel myself fidgeting under the dull scrutiny of Ray's kind eyes, "I was planning on going over to Target sometime later to get some stuff. I just couldn't bring a lot with me on the plane."

"We were going to go over once we move most stuff in from the van. We'll take you to, it will be fun for you guys to shop for your room together!"

"Oh mom! That's a fantastic idea!" Lily cried throwing herself on the comforter that Ray just softened out on the bed. Ray gave a small sigh.

"No," I mumble back, "I don't want to be a burden. Really I don't mind going by myself."

Ray gave me an odd stare that I couldn't quite place. "How do you plan on getting there?" She asked, hands on her hips.

"Um. . . Uber?" I really had no idea. Ray just started chuckling.

"You're from a small Canadian town, came to New York City _without_ your parents and you think I'm going to just let you go to Target _by yourself_ in an _Uber_?" She had her mind set. "You're coming with us. Anyway, I'm sure your mother would kill me if I let you go alone." She turned back and shewed Lily off the bed.

I smiled slightly at the strange care that this woman seemed to have for me. But I couldn't help wondering if my mother would really notice or even care. Feeling at least a little bit of love and care from this woman I just met and her daughter was enough though and I wanted to bathe in it just a little longer before they left.

"True," I lie, smiling up at them both, "any way that does sound like fun!"

"Perfect!" Lily exclaimed throwing herself over on her back, her upside-down face still locked on mine "Hey what are you thinking for accents? I was hoping for gold, but we can do anything really!" And I just nodded as I listened to her jabber away and watched her mother continue cleaning up the room. And for once in a little while, I was a little content.

 ****** Hello Again! One final reminder to review please! It really helps me know what's good, what's not and what people like!**

 **Also would bribing with brownies help?******


	4. Chapter 4

The tile floor was covered in a huge grey shag rug along the middle of the room between the beds, gold fairy lights shined down on us from above and a giant cork board was on the wall closest to the door for both of us to use, sectioned off for the different days of the week, a small rug underneath for us to put or shoes and boots and posters of our favourite musicals (during our bonding I found out she was here for Musical Theater). The walls above her bed were graced with a _Heathers_ and a _Hamilton_ poster, mine with _The Secret Garden_ and _The Great Comet of 1812._ It was beautiful.

The Gunn's (I found out their last name later) had treated me to the two posters and bought most of the shared space things; they wouldn't let me spend any money for something that there was even a small chance that Lily would use as well. I started out fighting it, but once I found that there was not going to be a chance of winning I let it go. I'd pay her back at some point.

Oscar pulled out all the dad moves, putting everything up and teaching us how to use the Command strips and hooks and how to take them down from the wall without damaging the paint. It was helpful because otherwise I wouldn't have known that you should pull the rubber strip down and not out. So, that saved me a good $150 of my deposit.

Once we finally had the room situated how we wanted it and the furniture where we wanted it; we kept the beds where they were but moved the dressers and the wardrobe we would share around so it was much more of a shared space (the wardrobe was on my side and the mini fridge they bought was on Lily's side on her dresser for us to share, but I still bought mostly non-perishables to last the first few weeks till I was sure Lily was really okay with that) we were finally able to sit down and relax for a bit.

"It really looks beautiful, Mom!" Lilly sighed, leaning her head on Ray's shoulder as they both lounged against the throw pillows, both looking frazzled but happy with their work I couldn't help but notice Oscar leaning against the door to the (extremely improved) washroom and gazing fondly and the two. I smiled to myself, happy to be a little part of this family picture.

"Yup, work well done," Ray's voice was drowned out by a rapping on the door and Oscar quickly swung around and pulled the door open.

"Oh, I get it," he exclaimed jokingly, revealing Dillon standing in the doorway, "you girls went to a club when you went down to the van earlier!"

Lily's face nearly matched her hair.

"DAD!" a shriek came from her clenched teeth and she flung herself back on her pillows.

"No, no I'm afraid I don't occupy clubs, sir. I have to say the roof top soirees are more my taste." Dillon chuckled, and gave one of his winks.

Oscar just turned back at us and said "I like him. One of you date him." Ray was in stitches by this point.

"Hey again, Christine!" Dillon noticed me behind the wardrobe and gave me a little wave.

"Hey, Dillon." I give a nod, trying to hold back some of my laughter. "What's up?"

"Well, I just wanted to let you girls know that the floor meeting is going to be in about an hour so I advise to get some food and then meet in the common area." He explained as he drummed his fingers on the door frame, in obvious discomfort from the scrutinizing gaze of Oscar.

"Sounds good!" Ray called before I could respond, still consoling the furiously embarrassed Lily. "I assume you're the RA on this floor?"

"Yup!" Dillon proclaimed, puffing his chest out a little, leaping into action and being, once again, the epitome of RA excellence, sticking his hand nearly into Oscars gut. "I apologize, I should have introduced myself earlier! I'm– "

"Dillon, yes we heard." Ray stood up and was beside Oscar in a second.

"You're the RA?" Oscar's attitude toward him immediately turned sour.

"Um yes! Yes, I am!" I could see the wheels immediately start to turn in his head how he could possibly turn a mixed-gendered floor into a positive for a protective father. "Sir, I can promise you that there will be definitely no club visits on my watch, sir. I'll be like their older brother."

"Oh, yes that makes me feel a lot better." Oscar muttered under his breath.

"DAD!" came a squeal from the pile for red hair buried under the throws. Up popped a red face with big eyes. "We'll be fine! Just go. I'll see you tomorrow!" She hopped up to give her parents a hug before she tried to usher them out.

"Alright, alright. We'll head out," he gave her a big hug and a kiss on the forehead then grabbed her face to make her look at him, her curls getting caught in the process, "But we'll see you tomorrow, so don't be afraid to tell us anything that happens tonight." And then with a quick side glance at Dillon added a very solid " _Anything._ " Lily pushed back and went to give her mom a hug, which turned into a tangle of arms, hair, and tears, mostly from Ray.

Oscar turned to me and gave me his fist to "pound it out" as he called it.

"You too, Chris." He added as I hit my fist against his. "See you tomorrow." He grabbed the last few plastic bins and headed out the door giving Dillon one last glare and waiting for Ray.

Ray let go of Lily and headed over to me. I stood up before her and before I knew it I was wrapped into a hug the was oddly reminiscent of our first meeting, just a generation up. This time I was less hesitant about putting my arms around her and giving a squeeze.

"Take care of each other. I know you will." She pulled back and looked at me. "You're a very sweet girl Christine. I can't wait for all the other times we'll see each other."

"Me too, Ray." I reply, feeling one of her fly aways go into my eye. I wipe away any wetness that might have come through as Ray turns grabs her purse and meets her husband at the door.

Dillon was still there.

"What are you doing gawking around here?" Oscar nearly shrieked at him, making him jump back, comically against the door frame.

"I-I thought I would walk you guys out to your car." He managed to stumble out. His tanned skin had gone a couple shades darker.

"You better. That's what a _respectable_ young man would do." His gruff voice booming down the hall.

As Dillon lead them out, Oscar turned back to us and gave us a large wink as he followed behind, not breaking character.

Ray grabbed the handle and whispered into the room "I don't think he'll bother either of you for a while." And shut the door.

"Oh, my God!" Lily exclaimed, throwing herself back on her bed. "He could not _be_ any worse!"

I just shrugged my shoulders sitting back on my bed. "I don't know. I thought it was kind of sweet. He definitely cares about you."

"Yeah, enough to stifle me!" She came up on her elbows and threw an incredulous look at me. "You know what it took me to get them to let me to come here? It's only an hour and a half away and they act like I'm going to Asia, never to return!"

"Oh, come on." I could tell where this was going and I didn't like it. "It couldn't have been that bad!"

"I had to make _charts_ , Christine. I'm an art kid. Do you know how hard it was to make a _chart_ for me? With numbers?"

"Well," I laughed back, "I still find it sweet. I got no fight to come here, and it kind of would have been nice to have gotten some reaction from my mom." _Change the subject, Change it!_

"My mom wasn't the problem, it was my dad!" she sighed, getting up and pulling out some pajamas from her drawers. "He was the biggest sleaze in college so he wants to make sure no asshole like him gets their hands on me. Honestly, it's the most embarrassing thing." She looked back at me with a very serious expression. I could feel it coming. "You're really luck your dad didn't come-"

"No, you're lucky you have a dad!" I exploded at her. I didn't even realize I had said it; but there it was.

I shut my eyes tight.

 _Why couldn't you have kept your mouth shut! You're so stupid, Christine!_

"Christine?" I heard her voice finally, I could almost feel her mentally tiptoeing around the subject but still trying to touch it without breaking the glass. "What do you mean?"

I still didn't open my eyes. I could feel my heart rising in my throat.

 _No! You won't cry in front of your roommate. You just met her today. Don't burden her with your feelings! No one wants that!_

"Nothing." I managed to mumble out, trying to shove the lump down.

"Then why won't you look at me?" I could hear the pity. It was around me like a blanket.

Warm, but suffocating all the same.

I felt a hand lay itself on my shoulder. She had made her way over and I felt her lower her weight onto the empty bed beside me.

I gave the stone in my throat a final mental shove and it was far enough out of my mind that I could speak.

"Please," I started slowly, my own voice sounding cracked from the strain I was using to keep the stone down. "if I tell you, _please,_ don't pity me," I could feel the stone rising and I didn't know if I was going to cry, vomit or both. I took a deep breath and asked God for the strength to continue. "That's why I tried to get as far from home as I could. I couldn't handle the pitying looks and the words. Everyone I saw."

I could feel the tears start brimming and shut my eyes tighter to make some attempt at stopping the flow.

I felt her grab hold of my hand, and squeeze it. It brings me back to a moment I'd rather not remember right then and begins to bring me over the edge. "You can tell me whatever you feel comfortable telling me, but I promise I will not pity you."

That's what did it. I break. The dam is destroyed. I am a balling baby, crying in front of my roommate in our first ten minutes alone together. But instead of pulling away and walking away like my mom had done when we found out he was gone, Lily stayed.

She wrapped her arm around me and pulled me into a hug. She just let me cry it out. I hadn't been able to do that for a long time.

"I'm sorry." I mumble after what felt like forever.

"What is it with you Canadians?" she sighed, and I couldn't help but chuckle. "You have nothing to apologize for!"

"Yes, I do!" I pulled back, for the first time looking at her full in the face, "In the first minutes since you parents left I just started sobbing on you! If that's not crazy roommate behavior I don't know what is!"

"Well, you know it _was_ me who triggered you so I'm not exactly running for the hills yet." She threw back at me.

"I didn't tell you my "trigger" was hate speech on dads either, so I think we can safely say we're both in the wrong." I joked back as I got up to clean myself off in the bathroom, and got a look at myself in the mirror.

"Oh great," I called out weakly "Quasimodo is going to make an appearance at the floor meeting."

"Your one of those then, huh?" Lily questioned from out in the room, "Good. I am too."

I started running the tap and threw a bit of cool water on my face, "One of what?" I ask through handfuls of water.

Lily appeared behind me in her sweats with a plastic cup of water from the filter in the fridge, "You use humor as an armor too." She explained leaving the cup on the counter and turned to sit on the closed toilet lid.

"Yeah, I guess so." I sighed, making sure the eye puffiness had gone down a little. "I'm not great at it apparently."

"No, I think you just weren't expecting that horde of emotional orcs to come over your wall."

I turned around and waited for an explanation. She stared at me like it was the most normal thing in the world.

"What?" She sighed exasperatedly "You've never watched _Lord of the Ring's_ have you?"

I just shook my head.

"Good!" The excited smile returned to her face. "I have the whole Trilogy on my laptop, and we'll need something to do once were done meeting everyone on the floor!"

 ****** Hey again! I loved writing this chapter! I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did! Show me by Reviewing it thus far and don't forget to favourite the story if you want to know when the next chapter is coming! I know Erik Hasn't made an appearance yet, but believe me its coming!******


End file.
